Posted on: August 17, 2011 3:59 pm

Coming back down to Earth

Yes, I am once again single.

Yes, once again, the vague quality of male friendship, Fantasy Sports, playing football in a local men's league, and volunteer activities are once again occupying my time.  They are creating the distraction that is keeping me sane while I whittle away the desperate hours of my life.

The meaningless of sport confronts me.  How can I help but love the Packers?  I cannot help.

But here, the rebound girl that I was dating was actually a girl crazed to have a baby.  She didn't want me - she wanted my seed.

It seemed so dark and impersonal - I could have been anyone with a decent DNA profile and fertile semen, and bam, she would have wanted me.  She did not understand my passion for football.  She only cared that it ran interference on her capacity to get close to me. 

Not so close that we actually KNEW each other, but close enough that I would be willing to impregnate her.

On a side note, I recently joined a league on MFL with a bunch of dudes from FFToday.

Once I get to know them a bit better, I am going to subtly inquire into how desperation and distraction is driving these guys.

Do those things go together more than anyone would care to admit.  In the Fantasy of my Fantasy...who knows?
Category: Fantasy Football
Posted on: August 12, 2011 5:05 pm

Making two in one day

Alright, for those of you who might now know it, I am dealing with Fantasy.

But yet, Fantasy is what I am dealing with on an ongoing basis.

Yes, my live-in girlfriend left me. 

Yes, I am working on four fantasy football leagues.

Are they the source of my dilemma, or the remedy?  Are they the distraction from the painful inflections of my so-called life?  Or are they the symbols of a man with too much unstructured time in his life, filling it up with mindlessness and gambling to ease the pain?

I have been reading the book Player One by Douglas Coupland in recent days, and in wake of its scathing insights the entire structure of my life is being boiled off into the steamy gas emerging from my ears (no, not my rear...ok, well that too).   In that crazed psychadelic light, I figure that my need to Commish is my need to control.  And my need to control is what chased off my girlfriend - that, and her complete lack of accountability.

And her own desire to control. 

Accountablity.  It's going to be a thread here kids.  I am going to give you the run down of the ongoing Fantasy of my Fantasy, in real time.  Get your Java ready - it's going to be an interesting ride.

Category: Fantasy Football
Tags: girlfriend
Posted on: August 12, 2011 4:53 pm
Edited on: August 12, 2011 5:14 pm

So once again I rule

So my Dynasty team is ready to rock and roll. 

I am unsure why Owners in my League continue to trade with me.  As the Commish, they love to banter and bicker with me - not trade to make me better - or so i thought.

In fact, now my team is so darned good, I fear for the long term sustainability of the League.

QB: Rodgers, Romo
RB: CJ, Charles, Forte, Best, Thomas
WR: White, Nicks, Wayne, Fitz
TE: Gates, Davis
K: Henery
D/ST: Lions

Now, at the beginning of the year, the team was strong.  I knew that.  I began to trade with others just for sheer amusement.

Then, it became clear that they might continue to trade with me, based on the depth of my bench, and the desire of some teams to rebuild for youth.  Some Owners came to me looking for trade advice and I gave it to them freely, not looking to assist myself.

When some of these deal came to fruition, they were then disposed to trade with me out of some sense of gratitude, perhaps.

Look at that roster in non-salaried Dynasty play.  Just look at it.

Really, I am going to have to dissolve the League and start fresh after this year, am I not?
Category: Fantasy Football
Tags: Dynasty
Posted on: April 20, 2010 1:16 pm

baseball is up! and the Draft is coming...!!

Alright - we got ten fellows for the Fantasy Baseball.

The attendance is down for the Blue Jays - somewhere around a 34% decrease in attendance, comparable to their opening weekend last year.  Something is DOWN in T.O. and I am thinking it would be a good time to pay less than Face Value for tickets from scalpers - there is always an upside.

The Dynasty Fantasy Football League we started is working in the fashion I imagined - generating a lot of interest in the Draft, and creating a lot of off season talk.  I set the Draft for June 27th - a lot earlier than usual - than ever, and people or excited.

I tried to work a deal for Marshawn Lynch that would have seen one of my 2nd line QBs and my 2nd round rookie pick go.  Unfortunately, the other Owner is a bit of a gambler himself, and prefers to wait and see on Draft Day - to see if San Diego or someone else cares to turn him back into a primary ball carrier.

I am seriously excited for Draft Day manuevers - let me smell the pigskin, even feintly.

Posted on: February 28, 2010 10:12 am

Enough with the Culture - bring on the Baseball

I should add that I just finished a production of Dancock's Dance - that's right, a play. In addition to being a sports-head, one might try some culture and artistic expression on occassion.

I was in this ensemble piece, a drama about World War One - I was a dead soldier from the past, having come back to haunt the living.

This too was part of my post-season hiatus.  It just finished last night.

Coming back to a Fantasy perspective, I await the start of baseball season with bated breath, with most of my Fantasy chums thinking similar thoughts.  Perhaps because I am so damn short - I've never had a great love for basketball.  As an example, only once did I have the guys to assemble a Fantasy pool for B-Ball, and even then, only 8 guys.  Don't follow the Raptors - even though the will make the playoffs again this year.   Not even the Finals are interesting.

Last evening was a terrific full moon, a brilliantly lit night sky with mild weather.  Almost as if the turn of the tide.  Soon, there will be bats swung and balls thrown around on the green grass of Florida, in preparation for brilliantly lit night baseball in the cities of America, and even Toronto, as hope springs eternal for Opening Day, everywhere.
Category: Fantasy
Posted on: February 26, 2010 12:10 am

OK, so I'm back

And what a SuperBowl it was...

But yet, my girlfriend is no longer, and this is why I was away for so long.

It seems that I am not immune to man's natural human feeling.  And football cannot soothe entirely what man doth miss.

So I promise hereforth to get back on the horse and put my sports-minded feelings back into the Blog I so tediously started.  And I'll find some new feeling yet in the glory of the Olympics in my home country, and cheer for our boys to trounce the Yanks in yet another nail-biting final, akin to Salt Lake.

And this Football off-season is still going to be a long one as a lonely man strives for redemption and reinvention.

But I'll do it - just watch - and perhaps you'll be here to see it, as sports continues as the one shining beacon of commodified greatness - the opiate of my masses - that carries me up out the mire and clay, as it always has...

Category: Fantasy
Posted on: December 20, 2009 11:31 am

The NFL produce is starting to rot

Never in a single year have I perceived such a pronounced decline in the NFL product.  Every facet of the game has taken a step back - from the product on the field to the blanket of media coverage, and all points in between. 

Here are the factors that make me come to this conclusion:

- the proliferation of instant replay to the point of madness, in both frequency and length.  It is anything but 'instant'. Despite being terrible, in and of themselves, replays have made the number and length of commercials even more yawn-inspiring and momentum destroying

- the incredible number of 'soft' meaningless penalty calls, especially pass interference and QB protection calls.  The number of flags arriving after a complaint or crowd reaction - I have never seen this kind of reactionary gerrymandering in any league EVER.  A children's soccer league has more integrity amongst its officials

- the rampant fining of players (and the public knowledge thereof), endlessly policing player behaviour in a fascist manner.  Most of the behaviour that is being discouraged would be entertaining and interesting to fans - celebrations, individualism, player commentary

- the League's staunch unwillingness to change a clearly biased and unjust overtime system.  I would argue that it does not matter what the players and coaches prefer.  Hockey players didn't like helmets.  But players and coaches will adjust to something new (and better) if the upper level of administration would simply acknowledge it's wrong and make the necessary changes

- the continued commodification of the game [this is not new], to the point where price point is near-beyond-reach for live games, for the average fan.  The commercialism is taking over at every level - from the naming of stadiums to a parade of ceaseless sponsorships to nine dollar beers.  This cannot go much farther and the NFL remain watchable, affordable or enjoyable

- the endless blathering by commentators, filling up every second of airtime in a broadcast with yammering or player-worship.  Never is this worse than on Thursday and Mondays nights.  The odes to the players by the colour commentators in these broadcasts is simply shameful

I've watched NFL football since I was 12.  In 26 years, I can say, as objectively as my memory can let me - that this year represents the single most profound decline in what the NFL offers to my interest and emotion.  I am beginning to feel the twinge of alienation and resentment. 

Am I alone in these perceptions?

Category: NFL
Posted on: December 18, 2009 1:42 pm

The madness continues

Alright.  I know it's been a bit.

And I should be feeling guilty for not having kept this thing going with as much pace as I could...

So last night, I start Wayne and Clark in the Indy game.  My goodness I am pleased with the performance.  I may make the final in the Keeper League after all.  Keep these guys playing I say!

Speaking of being pleased with performances, I spend Wednesday night watching Julie and Julia with the girlfriend.  Turns out to be an interesting and engaging film - yes, there is more to this guy than an irrational love of football and Fantasy.  If you have a girl in your life, and she likes movies with a brain and a conscience - pick this one up for a rental.

Meantime, I've spent some time trying to revise a handfull of rules for the Keeper and the Dynasty Leagues. I have a League meeting set up for when we draft for the Playoffs.  Discussion and decisions will come down the pipe.

On one hand - I do more more as the Commissioner than all the other Owners combined.  Yet, I cannot act unilaterally - that sort of thing makes you look like a dictator.  Can't do that.  But I do feel like others are short-sighted in terms of what would amount to the best changes.   I am concerned that I won't get what I think the Leagues need, despite my leverage as the Commish...

PPR  1.0 versus 0.5
Balanced positional scoring
Tempering QB and TE scoring (where both our leagues score them better than Standard)
Making Kickers and Defenses good - but not too good, in terms of Scoring

These are the kinds of issues I am worried about as we go to make modest but significant changes to the Scoring System - a PPR Performance scoring system, in both Leagues.  Where all positions, with the exception of Kicker, have equal value to a Fantasy team, and a good day for any one of them is 20-30 points.  Receptions, yardage, TDs, and small bonus scoring combines to measure a players contribution to a given game, relative their position.

Philosophically, I am always trying to produce the best and most balanced Fantasy experience that I can, for as many Owners as I can - while simultaneously ensuring there is a competitive spririt.  Without that - it boils off into irrelevance.  Why care, if the money is split so many ways theat everyone, generally, wins?  There has to be inequity - there can't be a perpetual celebration of mediocrity, a rough even splitting of all League funds...

Try balancing this stuff with the fact that most guys are fundementally competitive, coinciding with emotional maturity parallel to that of six year olds - they get mad, and they take their ball and go home.  Yeah, it's a pain in the ass.   As the Commissioner, I am working hard, always, to grow and expand the Fantasy Leagues, binding relative strangers with a love of football, together. 

How much say should the Commissioner have?  How much should he be able to guide his Leagues forward without the interference of less-informed Owners with selfish motives?  How much CAN he get away with before it comes back to haunt his Leagues and chase Owners/friends away?  

It's interesting, and I will let you know what comes for us.  
Category: Fantasy Football
Tags: Commissioner
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or